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Messenger Archives - January 2005

donald trump

AND THE WINNER IS...
by D. Ulysses Donnelly

I have come to the conclusion that the Bush administration isn't just incompetent, isn't just dangerous, it's patently absurd! I don't mean that Barney, the Bush family dog has his own web site (http://www.whitehouse.gov/barney) where he has a webcam, a blog, a newsletter and answers math questions. I mean that the president gave the highest civilian honor this country can bestow to former CIA head George Tenet, Tommy Franks and Paul Bremer III. And no the award is not for being Donald Trump's newest apprentice; it's the Presidential Medal of Freedom. This is an honor giv en, as Bush himself said, "to men and women of exceptional merit, integrity and achievement." This description is apt for previous winners including Rosa Parks, Mother Teresa and Mr. Rogers. But these three? Are Republicans on drugs? Well, besides Rush Limbaugh?

Giving awards to the men who are in large part responsible for the mess we are in now is so baffling it makes as much sense as George Bush getting re-elected. How George Tenet kept his job after the attacks on 9/11 is incomprehensible to me. When it came to Iraq, he made sure his agency told the public and Congress exactly what the White House wanted them to hear. General Franks did a good job with the invasion, and then it fell apart with rampant looting. Bremer took over and started issuing one idiotic ruling after another. Why would Bush give these men such an award? They did a bad job, but they were just implementing Bush's flawed policy. Can you really expect people to do a great job when they are supposed to execute a bad idea? Or as mom says: shit in, shit out. But who am I to cast stones? Bush can give the Medal of Freedom to whomever he wishes. Although, if he'd like my help, here are a few people he might consider for the medal in the future.

I'd nominate Captain Edward J. Smith of the White Star Line. Normally you give this medal to the living: but Bush probably feels a kindred spirit in this famous mariner. Captain Smith's leadership on the maiden voyage of the Titanic is similar to the way Bush runs the country. Captain Smith's devotion to staying on course and going full speed ahead while not heeding any contrary opinion or even having a dash of common sense shows the determination that Mr. Bush likes in a leader.

If Bush wants someone living perhaps he might consider this year's most accomplished filmmaker, Oliver Stone. What way to heal all those blue-red state divides than honoring someone from Hollywood, you know, finally be a uniter not a divider. Plus after seeing Alexander I am sure Bush can relate to the feeling of seeing a disaster filmed in the Middle East. Similar to the war in Iraq, it was poorly cast. Saddam Hussein playing the arch villain to American security makes as much sense as having Angelina Jolie play the mother of Colin Farrell.

Okay, so my nominations aren't that great either. Maybe I should leave giving the awards and governing the country to the professionals like Barney, er, I mean George W. Bush.


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