Beware the beast man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, for he is the harbinger of death. 
- Planet of the Apes (1968)

Like many of my fellow left leaning Seattleites, I had a little case of the blue state blues watching George W. Bush hold his hand above the family bible and take the oath of office, again. But what can you do besides wrap your Kucinich bumper stickers in plastic and sell them on EBay? (RARE, MINT CONDITION) Watching the Bush swearing in was disheartening to say the least. But at least the Democrats won the Governorship of Washington State.*

In hindsight I should have realized that Bush was going to win reelection, after all, every bad movie begets a sequel or two. Or maybe with Bush's dad and brothers in the mix, we might have the making of a franchise! The Holy Grail of Hollywood finds its governmental equivalent in Washington. Every Movie Studio Mogul wants to create the next James Bond, Star Wars or Leprechaun series! The kind of thing that if you slap that name on the front of the film, you'll have people lining up around the block to see it. The same is going on with the Bush people. Just slap that Bush brand on and watch the people vote!

If the Kennedy's had Camelot as the pop cultural representation of their mystique, then I think Planet of the Apes is a fitting representation of the Bush franchise. A planet ruled by slouching ape-men who are so blinded by their ideology they ignore reality until it smashes them in the face, when it is too late to duck.

If JFK was the tragic King Arthur, then Bush is like Dr. Zaius, the foolish leader of the apes, except he lacks the devilish foresight of the celluloid simian. Bush, like Dr. Zaius is incapable of changing his mind about anything, even when reality is hitting him over the head. Is Bush so afraid of being called weak that he can't admit a mistake? Like how Zaius is so afraid that the humans had a civilization predating the apes he will destroy the evidence that proves it?

Even now, after he won reelection, getting his Secretary of State to admit the glaringly obvious mistakes in Iraq (such as troop levels) is like trying to get Michael Bay to admit that Armageddon wasn't the world's best movie. Why do I have the sinking suspicion that there will be a serious case of buyer's remorse in red state America soon? When the chicken - or monkeys in this case - come home to roost, what will they do? Especially when they don't have Bill Clinton to blame any more?

In the end, I have the sad feeling that the rest of us will play the part of Charlton Heston's Taylor. While Bush raised his right hand to take the oath of office, we will be screaming into the sand "It's a mad house! A mad house!"

*This subject confirmed as of the writing of this article. Actual vote tally does not preclude the effect of hours and hours of crappy right wing radio and millions of Republican dollars on the final outcome of this election.

---

Search the Belltown Messenger Archives